my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You can't special order awesome
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
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If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize