No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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