I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
