I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
