PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
