Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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