Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I think people are normalizing furries
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
