why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
