I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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