Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
