My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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