i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize