I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I could fuck to npr.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
