he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
