when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
one might say we're banned from that church
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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