Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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