On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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