There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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