just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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