i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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