I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize