you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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