i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize