White coat. Heels.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
