it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
