my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
