everyone is single if you try hard enough
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
