So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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