Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
