my mouth tastes like poor choices
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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