He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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