To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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