Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
