I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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