I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
