he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
