well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
