Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
