I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
