The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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