i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I love you.
Bad choice
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