"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
