I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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