Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
