we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I party with great urgency now.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
