Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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