Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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