Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
