for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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