you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
