you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
