I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
