we're chasing vodka with high fives
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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