so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize