i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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