I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
