I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
