Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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