If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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