only if we run a train.
done.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
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I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
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Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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